L-Date: A Dissenting Opinion
At the urging of several others, I have decided to put words into my thoughts regarding the opinion of Ms. Ramos sent forth here. It is noted that I am currently at around the same point in my law school career as Ms. Ramos was when she wrote her "L-Date" entry (I started law school four weeks ago). Although Ms. Ramos wrote explicitly on dating fellow law students, it is apparent to me she is addressing law students dating in general and thus I will be addressing the concept of dating while in law school.
Whereas I myself have not seen the rampant courting that she claims occurs at her school (and I am in no position to argue the validity of such actions and thus I will assume what she has observed to be fact), I can understand her repulsion. Going into law school, the mantra is everyone is your enemy and law school is one huge competition. No doubt, a reasonable person could come to the conclusion that dating a fellow law school student is not desirable (and quite possibly stupid).
However, I will not feign the idea that I am above ideals such as dating fellow law school classmates. As cynical as I am of people in general, I do enjoy the company of others and I am fully aware of the intrinsic value of a relationship.
Law school is supposed to be all-consuming. Long hours are put in. The three years of law school will be intense. The amount of work will be staggering, but as the saying goes, "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." I have said many times to my fellow classmates--if I want to go and do something, I will; I will not let law school dictate every aspect of my life. I honestly think too many students get trapped into this idea that they have to study all the time. Taking a couple hours off every week (and possibly every day) to do normal activities will probably be more beneficial than continuous studying. It is one thing to be in law school mode the entire day, but it is much better when you can split the day with various activities (e.g. going to the gym during lunch everyday has certainly kept my sanity at times when I feel overwhelmed). Going on dates or hanging out with your partner can delineate those hectic days.
Taking breaks is also good for your psyche. If I immerse myself into studying for long periods of time, I do get the tendency to freak out every now and then, but I found taking breaks is much better for myself in the long haul. I find myself more relaxed and more receptive of the information I absorb. Plus in the end, grades mean nothing. There are plenty of rich, powerful, influential, and intelligent people who got bad grades. You may not get your dream job right out of law school, but then again how many actually do? Life does not end when you graduate law school; in fact, an optimist would argue life begins when you graduate law school. If you had a choice to meet your future spouse but subsequently get mediocre grades in law school, would you really turn down that opportunity in order to get straight A's? Would it be worth it in the end?
It is no secret that most law students are generally poor (because most students do not work during the school year). I saved some money and budgeted a maximum amount I allow myself to spend every month. I would probably see very little difference in my budget every month if I was dating someone. At least for me, I tend to drink less (and by less I mean a lot less) when I am dating someone. The money I tend to spend on drinks every week would then go towards dating activities. The $45 dollars I spent at bar last Wednesday could have been dinner with someone special (and that does not include the additional $15 I spent on an actual dinner that night).
I am 24 years old now. When I graduate law school, I will be 27. I know that 27 is hardly an old age, but is it really smart to delay dating? I do intend to get married one day and have children eventually. If I choose not to date while in law school, how will I know I do not end up on a slippery slope and keep delaying dating? Could I potentially tell myself that I should not date until I make partner at a firm? And all of this does not take into account the fact that my parents will start arranging marriages for me before I reach 30 (if they are not already doing it now). I honestly think it is very dangerous to think that one should avoid dating. I can understand taking a break, but to avoid dating all together is a disservice to oneself.
Now if only I could find a girl among my fellow classmates that I could date...
Whereas I myself have not seen the rampant courting that she claims occurs at her school (and I am in no position to argue the validity of such actions and thus I will assume what she has observed to be fact), I can understand her repulsion. Going into law school, the mantra is everyone is your enemy and law school is one huge competition. No doubt, a reasonable person could come to the conclusion that dating a fellow law school student is not desirable (and quite possibly stupid).
However, I will not feign the idea that I am above ideals such as dating fellow law school classmates. As cynical as I am of people in general, I do enjoy the company of others and I am fully aware of the intrinsic value of a relationship.
Law school is supposed to be all-consuming. Long hours are put in. The three years of law school will be intense. The amount of work will be staggering, but as the saying goes, "all work and no play makes Jack a dull boy." I have said many times to my fellow classmates--if I want to go and do something, I will; I will not let law school dictate every aspect of my life. I honestly think too many students get trapped into this idea that they have to study all the time. Taking a couple hours off every week (and possibly every day) to do normal activities will probably be more beneficial than continuous studying. It is one thing to be in law school mode the entire day, but it is much better when you can split the day with various activities (e.g. going to the gym during lunch everyday has certainly kept my sanity at times when I feel overwhelmed). Going on dates or hanging out with your partner can delineate those hectic days.
Taking breaks is also good for your psyche. If I immerse myself into studying for long periods of time, I do get the tendency to freak out every now and then, but I found taking breaks is much better for myself in the long haul. I find myself more relaxed and more receptive of the information I absorb. Plus in the end, grades mean nothing. There are plenty of rich, powerful, influential, and intelligent people who got bad grades. You may not get your dream job right out of law school, but then again how many actually do? Life does not end when you graduate law school; in fact, an optimist would argue life begins when you graduate law school. If you had a choice to meet your future spouse but subsequently get mediocre grades in law school, would you really turn down that opportunity in order to get straight A's? Would it be worth it in the end?
It is no secret that most law students are generally poor (because most students do not work during the school year). I saved some money and budgeted a maximum amount I allow myself to spend every month. I would probably see very little difference in my budget every month if I was dating someone. At least for me, I tend to drink less (and by less I mean a lot less) when I am dating someone. The money I tend to spend on drinks every week would then go towards dating activities. The $45 dollars I spent at bar last Wednesday could have been dinner with someone special (and that does not include the additional $15 I spent on an actual dinner that night).
I am 24 years old now. When I graduate law school, I will be 27. I know that 27 is hardly an old age, but is it really smart to delay dating? I do intend to get married one day and have children eventually. If I choose not to date while in law school, how will I know I do not end up on a slippery slope and keep delaying dating? Could I potentially tell myself that I should not date until I make partner at a firm? And all of this does not take into account the fact that my parents will start arranging marriages for me before I reach 30 (if they are not already doing it now). I honestly think it is very dangerous to think that one should avoid dating. I can understand taking a break, but to avoid dating all together is a disservice to oneself.
Now if only I could find a girl among my fellow classmates that I could date...
posted by vinnie at
8:48 PM
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